Romance movies are crafted to tug at your heartstrings, whisking you away into tales of love and passion. Yet, not every love story on the big screen hits the mark. Renowned film critic Roger Ebert, known for his sharp insights and candid reviews, didn’t hold back when it came to some of the genre’s missteps. Here’s a rundown of the 10 romance movies that Ebert deemed not worth your time.
10. Flashdance (1983)
Rating: 1½ Stars
Flashdance aimed to blend musical flair with a heartfelt romance. Jennifer Beals stars as Alex Owens, an 18-year-old welder by day and go-go dancer by night, dreaming of becoming a professional ballerina. Her life takes an unexpected turn when her fiancé dumps her after a job offer elsewhere, leaving her to face her dance lessons alone.
Clichés Over Substance
Despite its box office success, grossing over $200 million worldwide, Ebert found Flashdance lacking depth. He remarked, “It signifies nothing and is not as interesting as the real-life story of Jennifer Beals.” The film’s heavy reliance on dance sequences overshadowed its potential emotional resonance, leaving it feeling hollow despite its energetic exterior.
9. Betty Blue (1986)
Rating: 1½ Stars
Betty Blue is a steamy French romance that delves into psychological drama. It follows Zorg, a simple repairman, and Betty, a wild and unpredictable woman whose mental health deteriorates, spiraling their relationship into chaos.
Superficial Emotional Depth
Ebert criticized the film for confusing love with nudity, stating, “Love is not the same thing as nudity.” While Betty Blue boasts beautiful visuals and a passionate storyline, Ebert felt it failed to explore the complexities of its characters, reducing their relationship to mere physicality without genuine emotional development.
8. Friends (1971)
Rating: 1 Star
Friends tells the story of Paul Harrison and Michelle Latour, two teenagers who run away to Paris seeking solace and companionship. However, their idyllic escape quickly confronts harsh realities.
Disturbing Portrayal of Innocence
Ebert labeled Friends as “the most sickening piece of corrupt slop I’ve seen in a long time.” He criticized its shallow characters and misguided social commentary, finding the romantic plot both unrealistic and unengaging. The film’s attempt to merge romance with teenage rebellion resulted in an incoherent and unsatisfying narrative.
7. Staying Alive (1983)
Rating: 1 Star
A sequel to the iconic Saturday Night Fever, Staying Alive follows John Travolta’s Tony Manero as he tries to reignite his dance career while navigating personal struggles on Broadway.
Heartless Musical Jukebox
Despite earning $127 million globally, Ebert found Staying Alive devoid of the emotional depth that made its predecessor beloved. He described it as “so ludicrous it has to be seen to be believed,” criticizing its reliance on dance numbers over meaningful storytelling.
6. Camille 2000 (1969)
Rating: 1 Star
Camille 2000 is a lavish adaptation of Alexandre Dumas fils’ novel, portraying the tragic romance between Marguerite Gautier, a courtesan, and Armand Duval, a young businessman.
Lavish but Lifeless
Ebert dismissed Camille 2000 as “hopelessly incompetent,” pointing out its excessive nudity and lack of character development. While the film’s opulent sets and visual appeal were noted, the emotional disconnect left Ebert unimpressed, failing to convey a genuine romantic narrative.
5. Saving Silverman (2001)
Rating: ½ Star
Saving Silverman is a romantic comedy about three friends who kidnap their friend’s manipulative fiancée to prevent his wedding, hoping he’ll return to his true love.
Comedy Misfires
Ebert found Saving Silverman to be “an example of the lowest slopes of the bell-shaped curve,” criticizing its unfocused plot and crude humor. The film’s attempt at subversive comedy fell flat, leaving little room for genuine romantic development.
4. The Blue Lagoon (1980)
Rating: ½ Star
The Blue Lagoon narrates the survival and romance of two young cousins stranded on a tropical island, evolving their friendship into a romantic relationship.
Sanitized and Superficial
Ebert called it “the dumbest movie of the year,” highlighting its unrealistic portrayal of love and poor handling of sensitive themes. Despite its picturesque visuals, the film’s lack of emotional depth and character complexity rendered it a disappointing romance.
3. The Pick-up Artist (1987)
Rating: ½ Star
The Pick-up Artist stars Robert Downey Jr. as Jack, a charming flirt who tries to win over Molly Ringwald’s Randy through manipulative schemes.
Missed Emotional Marks
Ebert condemned the film as “an appallingly silly movie,” criticizing its lack of depth and superficial performances. The predictable plot and reliance on charm over substance left the romance feeling forced and unconvincing.
2. Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
Rating: ½ Star
Can’t Buy Me Love follows Ronald, a nerdy high school student who pays a popular cheerleader to pretend to be his girlfriend to gain popularity, only to realize that genuine love can’t be bought.
Cringe-Worthy Attempt
Ebert found Can’t Buy Me Love to be “as naive as the day is long,” criticizing its shallow characters and cynical approach to romance. The film’s formulaic plot and lack of authentic emotional engagement made it an unenjoyable teen rom-com.
1. Dirty Love (2005)
Rating: 0 Stars
Dirty Love stars Jenny McCarthy as Rebecca Sommers, who embarks on a series of disastrous dates to get over her cheating boyfriend, only to find true love in the end.
An Unfunny Disaster
Ebert labeled Dirty Love as “hopelessly incompetent” and “so pitiful it doesn’t rise to the level of badness.” The film’s tasteless humor, poor direction, and lack of coherent narrative made it a standout flop in the romance genre. Winning multiple Golden Raspberry Awards, Dirty Love epitomizes the worst of romantic cinema.
